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Warning: This blog contains material that may be offensive to those with delicate sensibilities or a deep appreciation for Jack Bauer. Reader discretion is advised.

Let me clarify right at the outset that I am no fan of Jack Bauer. I have probably watched the series 24 for a total of 24 minutes, if not less. I get motion sickness from the way the camera and the story lurches from one crisis to another. It reminds me of my life. Which I try to escape by watching TV.

So, it is perfectly reasonable for you to ask what I was doing, Getting Naked with Jack Bauer. While eating. In public. And you may not be surprised or sympathetic to learn that he almost made me choke on my food and cough it up on the ladies at the next table.